7-6-2006

speac sucks, i’m doing bad. i would totally enjoy it if not for the bad grades. it’s frustrating to understand everything of what’s going on but still get bad grades. last year, i didn’t have to worry about my grades and i could just enjoy talking and having fun in class. But now that the teachers are really giving me bad grades, it really stresses me out and makes me perform even worse and makes me really depressed, which doesn’t help at all. i’m going to tell ai that tomorrow that.

my gpa right now and major gpa is getting slaughtered, and it seems that none of the teachers care.

They don’t really think I study or that i’m good in japanese. The truth is, i only get about 3 or 4 hours of sleep every night and that i am good at japanese its only that they only call one me once every class, and if i don’t get that one chance right i get a 2.5 so i get really nervous and fuck up.

I also like changing the answer and going off to something else, it’s because i don’t like copying and repeating what everyone else does, because, if i know that’s right, why should i repeat it? i want to try something else and see if that’s right too. But unfortuenetly i do do that, and they don’t want me to, and so i get it “wrong”.

it’s really unfair. i hate having to do all this, like go talk to the teachers about it. Like i think also i don’t laugh alot when they tell jokes in class even though the rest of the class cracks up, i don’t really find it that funny so i don’t laugh but i think becuase i don’t laugh the teachers think i don’t understand.

what i’m really trying to say is that im stuck in a really really bad situation on a freak incident by not studying enough the first couple of days, and NOT KNOWING THE FUCKING WORD FOR YAKUSOKU. that’s another thing, i did really bad the beginning of this year too because i didn’t study that much the end of last year because i was busy with my others classes.

again

right now i’m really really sad and i don’t think they’re gonna give me good grades no matter how well I do. do you think that’s right?