7-18-06

i kinda yelled in class today, and it wouldn’t have been so bad except that i said the wrong thing. i said ‘donna’ instead of ’sonna’. i keep forgetting that donna is a question of what kind, not meaning ‘these kinds’…for some reason i seem to forget that.

what i really need to keep in mind though however is that japanese is a real living language. i have to keep in mind that when you say these things, there not random noises but they convey meaning behind them and people only believe what you say.

i think alot of the times i just say things really fast or not even care what i say as long as it is structurally and grammatically correct. Now that i’ve learn alot, it’s time for me to really not just analyze the words involved but actually remember that the words convey meaning and i must not randomly say words to sound like i understand it or to prove that i understand it. it’s this that gets me in trouble.

I want to know another thing: how come i can’t get it right the first time? why is it that i can’t get it right the first time, i never get it right the first time…. is it because i get to eager when they call on me? is it because i think too much about how i look rather than making the sentence correct grammatically and content wise? everytime i say something and they point one of my mistakes out, i automatically correct it without question, but why can’t i notice them at first try?

i think that i should just really analyze my sentence before saying it, and instead of trying to think of what they think of me. another thing- i really hate taking long to answer questions, i always feel like i take too much time.

but from now on, my new goal now and self mind is to relax, and just re-analyze what i want to say before i say it, if i were to take the time to analyze what i was going to say instead of thinking about how i look answering it, id do much better evertyime. more so, how do the others do so well? i think my problem is is that i try to make my own answers, and own statements, that is why i come so off the wall from everyone else, if i stick to the book’s rhetoric, saying only what’s expressed in the book, i’ll do fine.