7-11-06
speac is so unfair. I keep getting 2.5s no matter how well I perform, i’m afraid. It really discourages me, and makes me want to not even try. 2.5 is a 62.5% which is terrible. The fact is that there is no way i am doing nearly that bad in class, and because i started out with it they will forever label me a 2.5 student. I just got my hair cut so i look a bit different, maybe that will be difference enough for them to re-judge the performance since i will look different they will be easier to notice more differences as well. actually that might work i think, it will be a nice hypothesis and i can prove it’s true by having this entry state it so there.
man that pisses me off sooo much, i should be getting way better grades than what i’m getting for what i’m doing. i’m scoring the lowest grades on tests and what not as well, i think i’ll be changing that from now on, fuck that. you know sometimes i feel like it’s ok to screw up since they’re not expecting much from me, i have to lose that attitude.
And another thing, i don’t think before i say things. i need to state things that are out of place and what i don’t feel as right even though i want to say something else. from now on i must answer the “stupid” way or the copied way, and not try to deviate from everyone else.
thing is too for some reason i am mad at miller. i think he think’s im an idiot, and its getting me really stressed. i think it’s because since i’ve been doing bad on his tests lately, even though i have no real proof to say he thinks that way that’s just what i think in turn im stressed like a son of a bitch.
i skipped a whole part in the interview today, something about asking when a time is good. The thing is that the cc we were supposed to use and study for for phone conversations i didn’t use and i totally used a different one.
Here is another one of my problems: sometimes i don’t try or think at all and guess without looking just because it’s faster and easier to do that with the teacher correcting me afterwards. this is not the right way. since they grade on correctness, i get fucked everytime. From now on i have to stop being lazy and stop trying to be funny and answer the right way.
That is another thing, ai has no sense of humour! when i try to make a joke or be funny she doesn’t think im trying to be clever but she just thinks im being wrong or out of touch. i guess i have to quit with that as well, because now that i look back on it she once never laughed or found any of my jokes amusing at all.
That really pisses me off to because it makes class not fun, and for her not to be cool to be like that really frustrates me because i know shes a really smart person but i guess it shows like shes out of touch sometimes which makes me both mad and sad, yeah frustrated.
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Topics: Personal |