5-7-06

So today is another Sunday. I don’t like Sundays too much… This weekend really wasn’t eventful as the others we’ve been having. Whenever we want to do something together we have to do a sort of group vote and make sure everyone wants to do it. It takes a while and it gets old after a while. I guess that’s a result of our group of hangout people becoming bigger and bigger.

We ended up going bowling Friday after much debate. It actually turned out to be more fun than I thought it would be. I was carrying alot of things on me and they were weighing my clothes down so I had decided to ask Julie to hold onto my things. I then realized after a while that that was a perfect opportunity and excuse to see her again the next day, so I had decided to forget about asking for them back that night. After stopping at her dorm we walked around campus and went to the Reniassance Carnival. It was really nice I’d like to do something again like that with her but I’m afraid that using such a trick like leaving my stuff with her again is out of the question.

I’d have to say that out of all of the girls I’ve met this year Julie is the one that I actually wouldn’t mind dating and the one that I actually think about now alot. I wonder if she’s been thinking about me alot more recently too… Reality check: she’s going back home next year, I’m going to Japan, and there’s only 5 weeks of school left. I’m still going to try to get close to her though.

Saturday was Mozart night. That too turned out to be somewhat worth while and enjoyable. In fact I can only remember good things about Mozart night. That is just human nature I think, to look back on something and remember only the good times more than the worse but at any rate, I remember the good times. We learned how to dance the Waltz, it was pretty fun actually, everyone ended up having a good time because it gave everyone a excuse to hug up and dance with someone.

Like I don’t really know how I feel about Matt. We spent at least an hour the other day waiting to go eat at Cane’s Chicken so he could meet up with his friends. When we finally got there, an hour or so later, he didn’t even eat with his friends. They pretty much said, “Hi Matt”, and went and sat by themselves and he and them didn’t even talk. I guess the solution of this is too realize that we are beings of our own will and when we want to do something different then the other people it’s best to just do it.

Like my roommate just walked in I think he just said something and it might have been a question to me but I have my headphones on and I’m just going to act like I didn’t hear it.

I haven’t had this sort of crush on someone for a really long time. I had forgotten how much they hurt and eat away at you. It’s kind of driving me crazy. Like, it’s not a hardcore really strong desire but it’s just strong enough and nagging that I feel longing. What it really boils down to is this:

It’s that
If I were to just message her and say I was coming over to watch t.v. or a movie with her
it’s a good chance she would say sure
but……
warui

*cries. someday. i’m going to do it before the end of the year.