A Japanese and Chinese Major

Archive for May, 2006

Well alot has happened since I last wrote in this thing and so I will miss alot of details of what took place. Let’s just put it this way, the night Julie and I stayed at Matt’s house of the weekend of the Japanese party was amazing. Julie and I tossed waterballoons from the balcony, Julie got all happy and excited and made drinks and udon, the rest of the japanese people came back and we all had a huge balloon fight, it was amazing. The best thing though was when I woke up on the kitchen floor to find Julie sleeping all by herself on the couch. I immediately jumped right next to her and put my hand on her stomach and carrassed her hair. Throughout the whole thing mari was crying about how she was left by herself and when she called her boyfriend he didn’t answer. I blew on Julie’s stomach to wake her up. We were still drunk and we walked to Kennedy. On the way there she said she was so tired so I asked if she wanted to be carried and she said yes. So when I picked her up she got scared and said “Ryan! Ryan!” and I let her down her saying “You are still drunk” and then John Ming came out because he was visiting.

John his sister his sister’s friend taka julie and i ate at the korean restaurant. it was alot of fun.
Well I’m about to meet Julie at the library so I’ll have to finish the rest of these stories later.

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Well I learned something last night. There truly is such a thing as a cock block, I mean, I know they existed but I never experienced one myself until last night. Julie and I played racquetball at the rpac. We had decided that I could stay at her place for the night, sleep with her. Incredible. But, Matt messages me and asks if i’m drinking at his house. That sounds like a good idea so I convince Julie to come drink with me at Matt’s.

Then I say, “Hey, how about we invite Taka?”

Now I knew that that could possibly be a cock block opportunity. But I felt secure enough with Julie that she would still stick to the plan even if Taka came. Taka wasn’t even going to come, we had to convince him to come by having Julie call him and talk sweet talk like to him.

Well during the drinking games and what not he pulls his tricks to make himself look good. We played red apples green apples and julie and him were constantly agreeing on each others cards. Now that I look back on it I honestly think that he was cheating and looking at which card was Julie’s the whole night. When Julie would pick his card, he would wait awhile to build dramatic affect and then say in a fake surprise, “oh, that’s my card”. Pissed me off so much still does.

We’re walking back home and we get near my room and they say see you later, I wasn’t ready to split up at all Julie said earlier about walking her home. I said, “Wait, aren’t I going to walk you home?”, and Taka said “What?” like I was an idiot, like I was completely stupid like it came out of the blue like I was dumb for trying like that and that I didn’t have a chance. She said “Actually, that’s o.k. you don’t really have to” and then I just stopped and said “dammit” and she laughed and said “yeah” laughing and that was how we split. I’m so fucking mad about that. Well I learned something about this…

Even if you think it would be fun with your friends and it would be…
NEVER EVER EVER FUCKING CALL ANOTHER GUY AND INVITE HIM TO HANG OUT WITH YOU AND THE SAME GIRL YOU LIKE EVER…EVEN IF IT’S YOUR FRIEND…BECAUSE HE WANTS THE SAME THING AS YOU AND HE’LL TRY HIS BEST TO MAKE YOU LOOK BAD AND HIM GOOD.

I’m so pissed. I’m pretty sure that if he wasn’t there she would have ended up spending the night in my room like planned. Fuck, so stupid. I don’t know how I can bring up the idea again…

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Because if I miss one more chinese class I lose half a letter grade, I had to skip Chinese 251 for the first time today to attend a individualized instruction by Southerland laoshi. I was actually pretty nervous about the meeting because I had never had Southerland before and because she is american. I was really afraid that she would hear my off-tones and notice my lack of listening and speaking skills and think I was really stupid. Instead, the class went really well and it had made me realize how much I had actually learned so far taking chinese, that I was actually learning even though it doesn’t really feel like it.

Before this though I went to the union to study and I saw Misa. She said the others were there too like Mark, Kyle, and Sakiko so I decided to break down and eat with them. The conversation was o.k., Kyle talked alot about t.v. and movies that no one has seen. I wonder if he realized no one watches that stuff anymore? I think it’s because he lives at home and so the likeliness of watching those kinds of things is higher.

Taka and I had dinner at Kennedy. The conversation between us tonight was much better than the ones as of late. It turns out Taka still has feelings for Julie… That’s not such a good thing to have one of your best friends like the same girl as you. It’s bad that we met Julie so late in the year but it’s also good at the same time because then good friends like Taka and I won’t be fighting and competing over the same woman. What an excessive amount of stress that is, seriously.

Taka took up her countdown to, on Taka’s MSN:

23 days left…still sick

At the rpac Julie and I played a game of pool before leaving. She is really cute. It is still hard to talk to her. I really really want to be myself around her but at the same time I try to be witty and funny. But if I were to be myself around her then we wouldn’t even talk because there wouldn’t be anything for us to talk about that would be on topic. I think it’s that we assume what the other of us is thinking and doing so we don’t have to ask or comment on something because we already know what it would be.

But you know what why should I try to act “fake” around her? I don’t do it to anyone else so why should I do it to the only person that I really respect?

So from now on I won’t

Hmmm.. anyways…

I’m going to try to get as close as possible to her before the end of the school year, I’m not going to let such a beautiful woman both by attitude and looks just slip by.

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Today was the study abroad student meeting. There was a really really cute chinese girl there, going to Hong Kong, wore a really pretty dress… She gave Kevin her number and msn! He didn’t even ask her or do anything, she just handed it over to him! I wish I was in her group….

I was in the group with a guy going to the Netherlands and a girl going to Australia. The girl seemed kinda shy, really laid back, but, it looked like she was really analytical…But still kinda dumb. I mean, she did have a good conversation going with the Netherlands guy. She asked me where I was going. I said Japan.

The real kicker though was her next question. “Can you even speak Japanese?!?” she asked very sarcastically, and doubtingly. “Yeah”, I snapped back. She looked confused. It looked as though she was expecting me to say no.

Anyways I had to leave a few minutes early because I had a chinese class. But immediately before leaving, the advisor read a article about being a “ugly american” and about how they drink their diet coke and interrupt speeches and what not. Of course right after she was done saying that I had to grab my empty diet coke can and pizza plate and interrupt the meeting and leave to go to chinese class. Talk about irony and bad timing, jeez.

At the rpac on the bike I saw Julie today. She came up and said hi. I was really surprised to see her. I mean, as I sit there riding my bike listening to my tunes and thinking while the music plays she’s the one I am thinking about, and she suddenly appears out of nowhere. It’s hard for me to talk to her, even though of all people she should be one of the most easy for me to talk to. But I think it’s because that I feel she thinks so much like me that, and because I judge people very quickly and harshly, she’ll do the same to me if I say something stupid or rash. This is why I get very shy to talk to her… Maybe it’s the same for her too? I can only wonder…

Had a really good talk today with Matt eating dinner at Kennedy. I can tell he is alot more comfortable talking about things and expressing his opinions than the first time we met him.
He brought up a really good idea. “I’m telling you, once I step off that plane, it’s done…” Once he gets off the plane he isn’t speaking a word of english. He isn’t going to even speak english to other american students. And, if someone tries to speak english to you when you are struggling with Japanese, do not speak english back, just keep trying and going and answer them back in japanese, they’ll eventually get the picture. I think I’m going to do that that’s alot of fun and I will be so so much better. He said so many speak english there and waste such a perfect opportunity, he is so right. Thanks for the advice Matt.

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This weekend again was trying to make the best out of it. Sakiko and Misa were gone, so that meant Jeff was gone as well. Friday turned out to be pretty fun though.

So Julie ending up coming to the movie thinking that she wasn’t going to be the only one there. Shit. Actually when I told her that she was going to be the only one she seemed pretty happy. I asked her how she felt about that a couple times and she said that it was o.k. and that “she felt special”. Anyways, we watched and really enjoyed the movie while drinking a beer and eating movie snacks. Afterwards, we met up with Taka and the Koreans Ke and Ryan. We decided to go to momo’s and then play pool, so we did. Afterwards, we went to Ke’s apartment with the 20 dollar big bottle of SoCo we bought and played really fun drinking games like “san-muk-qyuu” and “bah-nah-nuh”.

I would have to say though, the funnest time that night was sitting next to Julie on the couch while we played each other in some Tekken like fighting video game. When it was my turn to play her I growled at her and she playfully growled back, all cutesy and smiling and what not. I’d have to say that that was my favorite memory that night.

Last night I went to her room again. As we were trying to find something to do that night, I was walking around her room and asking about her roommate’s side of the room. It was sealed off by blankets and we peered in. Care Bear blankets and what not everywhere. I had stood there for a while pondering if this was the right moment to get with Julie or not. After standing there awhile, I jumped on the bed and called for Julie to come, “Come here Julie” as I patted the bed. She looked really happy and excited at the same time, like she was just invited to attend the cool kid’s party or something. But she hestitated, and said no. Oh well, I played it off pretty well I think.

But after that we got a pizza at the pad and brought it back to my place. The others, Matt and Taka showed up and we went to watch the rest of the Jason Mraz concert which no one was at. Afterwards we came back up to my room to watch American Werewolf in London. It was really cute how Julie jumped and was easily frightened throughout the movie. I also love the way she says thank you after holding the door for her or offering her something. I mean, she truly is a girl, a woman; you don’t know how rare it is to find such a feminine girl here at school.

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If Julie wasn’t going back to Korea and I wasn’t going to Japan then she’d be my girlfriend.

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Well I’m back from Matt’s apartment and I’ve had about 4 beers to drink. I have chinese and japanese class in the morning right back to back which I have yet to study for. Since I have chinese first I’ll actually study for it the first time a day ahead (not technically but) and take a glance at japanese. I have to wake up early of course but it is already 2:30a.m. so…..

Tomorrow is the movie with Julie and I don’t even have anything that will play the movie. I’ve actually become a bit nervous about it, but I’m sure that when she shows up everything will be alright. I need to borrow jeff’s laptop to watch the movie is what it boils down to, and after playing that trick on him with sakiko and chika i think that that might be difficult but…we’ll see i think that if i convince him that it’s too soon to get back at me and that he should save it for something more big he’ll agree to give me the laptop.

By the way tonight at Matt’s place the get together was really lame and boring. No one really for sure knows that Julie and I are watching a movie tomorrow. I had Taka buy me beer for future use but he hasn’t realized what it’s really for. I had thought he could figure it out by now but he hasn’t, maybe he thought like Matt thought that I was just joking about watching that movie….

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Who the hell goes to bed at 12? seriously. Also, while on the phone he says “yeah, I can’t drink tonight I really have to hold back this weekend I can’t drink so much”, and then goes straight to bed without studying whatsoever. Dude, you fucking didn’t study. You can go drink retard. You’re dumb.

This friday I’m going to watch a movie with Julie. I really look forward to it I think about it all the time. Julie is really a commodity these days. Me, Taka, Jared, and Kyle all have a crush on her. Kyle is a douchebag. I can’t stand him putting up posts on her pics all the time saying “you continue to amuse me. lol.” and, “this is a really nice pic” and after her saying thanks, he follows up saying “ok maybe the best pic in the world”. Kyle is goofy looking and forceful I really hope/think that Julie can see that. But like, I’m the one that gets to get close with her and watch a movie. hurray

I told Taka that it’s happening but I really wish I didn’t. Now it just throws him back into competitive mode for Julie. His msn away says “wanna go to marketplace?” so, what do you suppose that means? I really hope that Friday we have a good time watching the movie, kick back cuddling and enjoying a few beers, without the roommate there as well.

After this year is SPEAC. After SPEAC, Japan.

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So today is another Sunday. I don’t like Sundays too much… This weekend really wasn’t eventful as the others we’ve been having. Whenever we want to do something together we have to do a sort of group vote and make sure everyone wants to do it. It takes a while and it gets old after a while. I guess that’s a result of our group of hangout people becoming bigger and bigger.

We ended up going bowling Friday after much debate. It actually turned out to be more fun than I thought it would be. I was carrying alot of things on me and they were weighing my clothes down so I had decided to ask Julie to hold onto my things. I then realized after a while that that was a perfect opportunity and excuse to see her again the next day, so I had decided to forget about asking for them back that night. After stopping at her dorm we walked around campus and went to the Reniassance Carnival. It was really nice I’d like to do something again like that with her but I’m afraid that using such a trick like leaving my stuff with her again is out of the question.

I’d have to say that out of all of the girls I’ve met this year Julie is the one that I actually wouldn’t mind dating and the one that I actually think about now alot. I wonder if she’s been thinking about me alot more recently too… Reality check: she’s going back home next year, I’m going to Japan, and there’s only 5 weeks of school left. I’m still going to try to get close to her though.

Saturday was Mozart night. That too turned out to be somewhat worth while and enjoyable. In fact I can only remember good things about Mozart night. That is just human nature I think, to look back on something and remember only the good times more than the worse but at any rate, I remember the good times. We learned how to dance the Waltz, it was pretty fun actually, everyone ended up having a good time because it gave everyone a excuse to hug up and dance with someone.

Like I don’t really know how I feel about Matt. We spent at least an hour the other day waiting to go eat at Cane’s Chicken so he could meet up with his friends. When we finally got there, an hour or so later, he didn’t even eat with his friends. They pretty much said, “Hi Matt”, and went and sat by themselves and he and them didn’t even talk. I guess the solution of this is too realize that we are beings of our own will and when we want to do something different then the other people it’s best to just do it.

Like my roommate just walked in I think he just said something and it might have been a question to me but I have my headphones on and I’m just going to act like I didn’t hear it.

I haven’t had this sort of crush on someone for a really long time. I had forgotten how much they hurt and eat away at you. It’s kind of driving me crazy. Like, it’s not a hardcore really strong desire but it’s just strong enough and nagging that I feel longing. What it really boils down to is this:

It’s that
If I were to just message her and say I was coming over to watch t.v. or a movie with her
it’s a good chance she would say sure
but……
warui

*cries. someday. i’m going to do it before the end of the year.

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